Pokemon Mystery Dungeon 2 Gone Wrong
by octogonapus
Summary: So, an aerodactyl named 'Khapus', a charmander, and turtwig adventure to stop the planet's paralysis. Along the way, many annoying and weird pokemon await them. Rated M for Adult Humor, Swearing, and Violence. Please review and criticize to improve.
1. Chapter 1: The Beginning of Maddness

So, Khapus landed in some sort of beach. He just accidentally fell of a a cliff and flowed all the way to here via rivers, while escaping Mt. Horn. All he has is 3 iron thorns in a bag. He's at about level 9 in power. He said"Where the heck am I?" He saw a beach and bubbles coming from some krabbys. He jumped up and down, then yelled in happiness "FINALLY! I GOT OUT OF THAT PLACE AND AM AWAY FROM THOSE DIP-HEADS!" Khapus saw two random pokemons. One is a Charmander and another is some Turtwig. He said to him self "Am I near some town? This is most likely Treasure Town. Who's the dim-witted idiot that named the place that anyways and why? It's not like that there is treasure at all. Anyways, I wanna see what the heck is going around me." He then walked towards the two random pokemon and said "What's going on?" The Turtwig replied "I just found this Charmander lying down in here. I hope he's fine. What brings you here?" Khapus answered"Cause! The idiots in Mt. Horn hate me! They call me a 'lunatic'! Then, they chased me out and I had to jump into a river! From a cliff! I flowed across the ocean then landed here! The whole month before this happen, the pokemon were being complete pieces of smelted CRAP! Bothering me and beating me up! But, I then beat them back! Anyways, you need to get this guy to be awake?" The Turtwig thought from the story 'He's a bit silly and says some bad words, but why did they call him a lunatic? Well, with all the bad pokemon crawling around these days. I'm not surprised!' The Turtwig replied"Strange. Ok, what are you going to do to wake up him?" Khapus anwsered"I need a stick!" The Turtwig then grabbed a stick and gave it to Khapus. Khapus then poke the stick at the Charmander's belly repetitively, then the eyes opened. The Charmander looked at his reflection in the water and screamed "I'M A POKEMON!!!" Khapus thought 'And, they say I'm strange.' He then laughed at the Charmander's reaction and said "Whats wrong? It's like as if your once not a pokemon. Now, what thing that thinks and isn't a pokemon?"

The Charmander heard a pokemon talking. His eyes widened and he said "Wait! You can talk! And, you too! I was human and now I'm pokemon that can barely remember anything from the past." Khapus replied "So, your human. If I can remember, there aren't any humans around here or anywhere in the known world. You have amnesia too? Great! Whats next? A random attack from two strangers? Anyways, what's your name and the Turtwig's name." The Charmander replied and said "I can't remember, so just call me Charmander." The Turtwig was lost and said"My name's Turtwig." Khapus just widened his eyes and yelled "YOUR NAMES ARE THE SAME AS YOUR SPECIES'! Great! Just great! What else do we need for something worse of a name?" Then, Turtwig replied "Calm down. Everybody does that for their names. Can I introduce my self? I am just a normal Turtwig. I want to become a explorer, but I'm always too scared. I have a very important treasure to me. A nice Relic Fragment. I can't figure out these patterns somehow."

In the bushes, there was a Zubat and a Kofing heard everything. The Kofing said "The Aerodactyl sure is weird. I like how the Charmander screamed. That was so funny! But, my favorite part is the treasure! Imagine the money we can get from it." The Zubat agreed "Yes! Better yet! Two wimps and one average pokemon are guarding it! This is going to be easy!" They then charged toward the Turtwig and took the treasure. One of them said"Sorry! But, this treasures mine! If you want it....THEN YOUR SCREWED!!!!" Everyone else widened their eyes and Khapus said "What the crap was that for?! So, they randomly steal a personal treasure of a random pokemon....Is this going to be as retarded as the anime pokemon show. If that...We can expect a horrible fan base that draws disturbing pictures of us. Also, our voices and personalities will be changed into that of a frying pan, a toaster, and a chair. The voices will boring and really ear-pulling. WAIT A SEC! I'm going off-topic! " Turtwig shed a tear and said in an angry voice ignoring Khapus' breaking of the 4th wall "No way! I going to brave this time. No chickening! I'm going to get my treasure back!" Charmander thought 'I should help Turtwig. He seems very nice. I really hope I can be of help. Plus, I can help him be an explorer and explore with him. I don't know about Khapus. He seems to be nice, but he's very odd....'

So, everybody went inside Beach Cave to find the thieves and bring them to justice or steal back the Relic at least. Let's hope this doesn't turn into like that Pokemon Anime Show. Cause, if that happen. We will have to keep pokemon inside handheld consoles forever!!!!


	2. Chapter 2: The Attack of the Sea Slugs

Disclaimer-I don't own Pokemon or any pop-cultural figures that are parodied in this Fan Fic.

Anyways, for now on. This section is just going to have stuff for the lolz.

ASH KETCHUM NEEDS TO DIE THEN BE COVERED WITH KETCHUP. MUHHHAAAA!!!!

WARNING-This chapter contains worse language then the last one. Also, if anyone is offended by the Shellzis and their genocide of Shellders....Just remember that their evil villains in the story, and are simply a historical reference for comedic and dramatic purposes. Also, if you like disturbing pokemon anime pictures......I will send mudkips to drown you if you review this story badly over that reason.(I'm kidding.) This is a comedy story! Not trying to be serious here. This story has all-caps in some parts to parody how the online community puts all caps when yelling. Have fun!

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Our group of abnormal heroes enter Beach Cave. The cave's entrance was filled with angry Shellos killing Shellders for no crapping reason. Khapus was wide-eyed and said" WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE!!" While he was wide-eyed at the genocide, the 2 younger pokemon just were shocked by the horrid atrocities the Shellzis were doing. Khapus just went in and killed one Shellos, and all the other Shellos screamed "A NEW ENEMY OF THE FUEHRER! KILL THEM! HEIL BITLER! HEIL BITLER!"

There were about 10 Shellos that are now charging towards the adventurers. Charmander scratched one of the Shellos thus killing him. Turtwig bit another shellos and killed that one. Khapus made a nick name for them and that is 'Shellzi'. The Shellzis were constantly being beaten back by the combined forces of 3 adventurers. The group was finished with them by the time the last Shellzi died.

They then saw the way to BF 2. They walked towards the stairs and they went down a floor.

A Shellder saw the group and pleaded "CAN YOU HELP ME?! PLEASE! THERE ARE SHELLOS ALL OVER THE PLACE KILLING EVERYONE ELSE" The adventurers soon had gotten exactly what exactly is going on. The Shellzis are trying to kill all the Shellders. No one knows why though. Maybe for the lolz or to be complete assholes. The group nodded their heads to the Shellder's request for help and guarded him as they wander around the floor.

They were silent when wandering around the floor. Most of it came from sheer shock from the earlier scene. Khapus thought of random thoughts in his head. 'Okay...I think Bitler is their leader, because their god-danging slogan of 'Heil Bitler' sounds like....Hail Bitler. Or it could be their god or something. Either way, they surely are insane to the point of no return. THIS IS MORE WHACKED OUT THEN THE INTERNET FANBASE OF THE STUPID POKEMON ANIME. I think they should just leave the internet and get a life that doesn't involve making inappropriate pictures of their favorite characters. I mean WTF!'

The Turtwig was thinking in quite a different way. 'The world is really turning out of control. Pokemon every where are just becoming....crazy. That's the word! I mean look at the Shellos here. Their killing random pokemon for no reason at all! Well, I'm going to have to continue on to get my relic back...WAIT! What happened to the 2 theives???' He then felt a shiver come across his body at the thoughts of what the Shellzis could have done to the 2 thieves 'I feel like I'm going to wet myself out of fear of what they could have done to them... OKAY! I WANT TO LEAVE THIS PLACE' So, the unoriginally named turtwig was shaking his legs in fear as he walks around the cave.

The Charmander felt like he was being pushed aside in importance. He seemed to find out that the Turtwig was shaking in fear. He said for sake of getting inside the story "I'm wondering why your scared all of a sudden?" Turtwig answered "It's just how scary are the Shellos around here." Khapus heard the discussion and was mad. He thought 'NO WAY I'M TURNING THIS INTO A FRIENDSHIP STORY DANG IT' The 4th wall breaking Aerodactyl just simply said "The Shellzis here are so wimpy that 2 kids can kill 4 of them just by biting and scratching..." The other 2 pokemon and the Shellder all said" WHAT IS A SHELLZI?!" The aerodactyl answered "I mean the insane Shellos that live in this cave. Like the nickname?" The Shellder realized that 2 of them are kids. Octagonapus the Narator said "Wow! The Shellder realized it by now. What a idiot" Octagonapus was sitting down in his seat and is typing up this story at this moment. Am I talking about my self? PARADOX!!!! *Universe blows up and rebirths itself and followed the same path in evolution and that crap. We then reach the Shellzi scene again, and my cameo is no longer there.*

They then saw 3 Shellzis beating up on a Cosora. 'So, now they kill Cosoras too?' thought Khapus. The Shellzis charged towards the group screaming the usually crap, but the group quickly dispatched of them. The group then stumbled upon the stairs to basement-floor 3, then they walked down the stairs.

Floor 3's entrance was calm and smooth. So, Khapus stopped everybody into a speech. Everyone else knew that he's going to rant on and on, but maybe he's going to say something important this time. The Aerodactyl said "You know what we're doing today? Killing Shellzis! The Shellzis have no humanity! They have stepped on our brothers with their pseudopods and we're going to step on them with our clawed FEET! Kill the Shellzis! Kill them! We will show them no humanity! Each one of you owes me 25 Shellzi heads! And, I want my Shellzi heads! San Greed!" The others just said for no absolute reason "YES SIR!" They didn't know what made them say that. Khapus laughed and thought 'I have just created patriotism! All I need is an Uncle Sam poster!'

Charmander thought 'Khapus is a weird name. I mean! How many people have that name? And, he complains of our names. He is nice to help Turtwig, but he sure is weird. Why did I even said "YES SIR!"? I'm thinking way too hard and I don't even know Khapus enough.' The Turtwig looked around in caution and fear for Shellzis, and thought 'Why am I so scared? It seems that Khapus and Charmander aren't scared. I got to be brave this time.' No one cares about what the Shellder thinks and they seem to start to forget him. The Shellder left the dungeon thinking 'Why did I went one floor down? I'm going back up.' He left 230 p. on the floor as a reward. Charmander noticed it and grabbed it.

The rest of the team wasn't so excited and Khapus said "He paid us 230 p. You got money Charmander. Is that NEW to you? I still hate your name, but I have to call you that. They use Ps around here for a currency. I guess the 'P' stands for pokemon or that crap." Then, Khapus ran at amazing speeds away to kill some Shellzis. Charmander and Turtwig walked of the other way.

Khapus was killing so many shellzis with his sharp wings while dashing at high speeds that he can't even count the amount of deaths he caused. Everyone(I mean only pokemon fanatics who have no life) knows that aerodactyls are the 4th fastest kind of pokemon in the world. (We also need to parody Sonic the Hedgehog. Why?.... I don't know.) The aerodactyl thought 'Wow! Beach Cave is starting to remind me of Green Beach. TIME FOR THE SHELLZIS TO DIE! I'm doing all this for the lolz!!!!'

Charmander and Turtwig were running across many chambers. They fought and defeated horde after horde of Shellzi. Charmander said "Phew! I can't believe we're doing this good." Turtwig replied "I thought I sucked at this. Maybe this is the day we're going to the guild. I always wanted to, but I was too much of coward to do anything." Charmander replied "What's the guild?" Turtwig replied "The Guild is a place where explorers can go to train and do work. I was planning to join the guild in a dream of becoming a pokemon explorer, but I was too scared. Anyways, you seem to be a good friend. That Khapus thing sure is plain weird. Infact! You can be my partner and we can make a exploration team! Exploration teams are teams of explorers that do jobs or explore. I don't know about Khapus though." Charmander thought of it and decided "Yes! I think we should make an exploration team. I agree with you about the aerodactyl too. I just wonder just what's going on in his head."

Khapus reached an abnormal chamber. It seemed to be more organized then the previous chambers and had an artificial feeling to it. There were 2 shellos, but they weren't aggressive. One of them spoke "Hello! You seemed to have done good in the battlefield against those maniacs. We're the resistance and you've done a great job at cleaning up the rubbish around here! Those maniacs are killing everything they see and Treasure Town is being threatened by them. Now that we have you, we can fight back! I will show you where the last stairs are." The Shellos turned towards the right exit from the chamber. Khapus said "Thanks! Now I'm seeing some decent people" Khapus ran through some more chambers before meeting Charmander and Turtwig.

They all reach each other just right in the chamber with the last stairs. Khapus ran down the stairs, then Charmander and Turtwig did the same. They were almost to the Relic and the 2 thugs.

They finally reached the boss chamber/floor. There stood the fearsome and horrifying Gastrodon. Khapus said "I'm calling the Gastrodon a Gastrozer" The Gastrozer was guarding a cage with the 2 thugs inside it. They were scared to death and weeping in fear. Khapus thought 'They can't beat SHELLZIS. Comeon, even two kids can kill a bunch of those.' Turtwig and Charmander were surprise the thugs were captured considering how weak the Shellos are.

The Gastrozer roared "HEIL BITLER! HEIL BITLER!" Khapus charged onto the Gastrozer and dodged his mud bombs. Charmander and Turtwig helped by attacking him from the sides. The Gastrozer attacked Khapus, but the aerodactyl quickly dodged the attack and jumped on the Gastrozer. The slug-beast screeched in pain, and the thugs were shocked by how they were doing. They thought 'They're lucky. They aren't good at all. They just came at the right time. If we saw those Shellos, we would have beaten them and kick their little butts till they cry. Those 3 people aren't strong. They're wimpy......I CAN'T HANDLE IT ANYMORE! CRAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!'

The fight continued on for a minute. Then, Khapus gave the Gastrozer one more slash then the gastrodon died. *Kirby Victory Music!* Khapus cheered at his killing of the Gastrozer and looked at the thugs. He walked towards them and said "Hello motherfuckers! I can't believe you all failed against...." Khapus laughed "These losers! Yet, you think your better then me. HA! I'm giving you 2 choices. Choice 1, give me the Relic and stay alive. Choice 2, your heads flying across this room and me laughing maniacally. Also, you seriously should get a life. I mean, randomly stealing from little kids is a stupid activity. Where did you get the idea from? The Society of Crapy Villains?" The Zubat just gave the relic and ran off with the Kofing as fast as they can. They were sweating so much that puddles of sweat were left behind in the chamber.

The team celebrated their victory and ran off back up. They then finally return to the beach.

It was sunset by now, and the pokemon team talked about joining the guild. They all decided to join the guild.

Khapus thought 'I'm seriously going to see what Treasure Town is. I know it's going to be some dumbass village with services made just for exploration teams. Now....I don't have anything in my mind. I NEED TO DO SOMETHING BEFORE THIS FAN FIC SUCKS! You got any ideas reader? YES! I'm telepathing to YOU! Review this fan fic! That's the best gift you can do for an author! WAIT! I can't communicate telepathically nor interuniversally! NOOOOOO!'

Charmander thought 'I'm lucky that I got a friend and an occupation in one day. Now that's odd. Also, why are all the pokemon going crazy around here? Also, why did I forgot nearly everything in my life before crashing into this beach? What was that strange voice I heard and that aura that was quizing me before I crash-landed here? I'm confused at the very least. '

Turtwig thought 'YAYYY! I going to be on an exploration team! I have been dreaming about this all my life. I never would have thought of having a ex-human and a wacko for team-mates though.'

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Changed the Genre to Parody. Cause this IS a parody.

I don't want to be a review-hog, but I need criticism to see what's good and what's bad.


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